Is this it? Is this life?????

I am in my late 20s and I'll be honest, this cant be it!

This is not all life has to offer, go to work, come home get ready for tomorrow and then wait for the weekend. If you are lucky you have some disposable income to get some alcohol or have drug free fun with friends and the shit show continues.

I have a fairly minimal wage and I have been able to change jobs easily the past 6 to 7 years of my life. I graduated at 21 ( parallel program no long holidays). Anyway, i cant claim life has dealt me a bad hand but ffs, i thought i would be further in life right now, or have figured shit out, but i haven't.

I have tried to find joy in normal things, drugs, sex, self fulfillment but it never feels like "it". I want more out of life and i cant figure out what it is thats missing.

People say, start a family and honestly i don't think a wife and kid will fix the hole i am feeling in me. For a family, i know i need to have sorted whatever it is that i feel is missing first, juu wanaweza kuja and then i abandon them when it starts feeling cagey. Even if I start a family, its the same, try and earn more to sustain them, come home laugh with your child -who is probably not yours lol-, eat, talk to your SO, mkosane, then make up like surely what is this. Alternatively live alone, do whatever you want but the cycle remains. Work, eat, sleep repeat . 🤯🔫 blows brain out. The monotony never ends.

I watch romcoms and these people don't seem to care about their futures, ik its a movie and all, but some answers would be nice even if they are fictional.

With time the number of friends has reduced, watu wamepata watoto, others are not doing so well, others are doing too well and you can't just chill as often as we used to when we were younger.

I have talked to older people, and they always say, throw yourself into learning more, better your career, fall in and out of love, but i genuinely don't think these are things I want. I don't want to climb the corporate ladder, i dont want to start a business and honesty? HONESTY i dont want to work either.

I cant remember the last time i was genuinely happy to do something or care deeply about someone or literally anything. I will smile, laugh, make jokes, enjoy people's company but after that i could care less about it all. I want more out of life but i have no idea what that more is or how i can find it.

Not sure if anyone else feels like this, and i genuinely hope other people feel the same because this is a shit feeling that never ends, like at all...